A part of me wanted to go off on a tirade for some of the ridiculous things coming out of the mouths of Atlanta Falcons fans this week. To equate one victory over your rival to a Super Bowl is simply a cry for help. Seriously, the “Dirty Bird” faithful may still be celebrating the 26-9 win over the New Orleans Saints. A shirt was made to commemorate the achievement.
Think about that. The climax to your season was a victory to move to two wins versus seven losses.
— The Falcoholic (@TheFalcoholic) November 12, 2019
Atlanta Falcons Fans Need Your Help Now
Giving Back in the Time of Need
Maybe they should throw a parade. Perhaps close the city down and revisit the memorable victory over the Saints. Ahh, who would show up anyway? Regardless, it’s the time of giving. Who Dat Nation is always picking on their younger brother. Maybe it’s time to give something back this year. Seriously, we’ll see Atlanta in two weeks anyway. The temptation to throw shade over the Falcon fans is all-encompassing.
About time you win a Superbowl, Atlanta. pic.twitter.com/frYS2H0zva
— Saints4lyfe (@Saints4lyfe73) November 10, 2019
However, in 2019, the Falcons are in need of help this year. Louisiana knows how to give to their bitter rival. I’m sure we can come up with some ingenious ideas to help the Dirty Birds come back to reality. Here are some of my ideas:
First, let’s get an immediate line of hope going for the sick. No doubt, the hotline needs to be established. If they can call our new 1-800-SIC-BIRD number to one of our knowledgeable experts on helping Falcons fans cope with the disillusionment of being a winner anytime soon. Anyone from the outside can see that the inner bird is suffering.
One Call That’s All
In fact, it’s a possibility the fans could be suffering from a case of DBS (Degenerative Bird Syndrome). This is a horrible disease if left untreated. But I’ll cover that later. Take the first step and call our number 1-800-SIC-BIRD.
After that initial call, our experts will come up with a one-on-one plan. The most important factor is acceptance. The Atlanta Falcons are 2-7. This is reality. Our certified bird experts have plenty of experience clearing away the past and flying right along with you. Surely, Saints fans know by definition, an Atlanta Falcon fan can never experience the success of the Black and Gold. But it’s OK.
Always a Nightmare
It’s gotta be tough walking out the house with the bird exposed to the world. Being a “Dirty Bird” means dirty blood. It’s not your fault. No one would choose this life. The gene has been passed down. Falcons fans are in a word “dreadful.”
Don’t worry, our team of experts can be of help. Close your eyes and just keep saying “There’s no place like Dome.” This is a mantra made for the severe cases of DBS.
Lastly, by far the most important. This is the toughest challenge for the life-long Atlanta Falcon fan. Embrace the world of failure. Your place in the NFL is always at the bottom. Someone has to be the bearer of misfortune. Unfortunately, there is no hope for the lost souls of Atlanta.
There Is No Shame in Losing
No, for anyone wearing any type of Atlanta Falcons gear means disappointment. But the road is clear. No more fear. The sad world is yours. It is just how the NFL world works. The goal should be succeeding at failure. Don’t let anyone get in your way. Become the example of a team that no other fan base would want. Fear nothing. No hope is better than living in an imaginary dream of reaching the top. Take the steps and spread the word. We are here to help. Who Dat Nation has a heart and our love is for the endless possibilities for the whole city of Atlanta.